Why Pageants Became the Love of My Life: A Celebration of Service

Part 1: Prologue

Part 2: Celebration of Strength

For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to help people. Not because I have to but because it is something that I really enjoy. It makes me happy, it brings meaning to my life, and it keeps my feet on the ground. This has been the case BP (before pageants) and is still the case NCAWP (Not currently affiliated with pageants) and it will hopefully be a quality that remains with me. It doesn't make me a saint or somebody that have pity for others - I have empathy and I care... I care deeply. That's the extent of it. 

Like I said, this was already part of my life from before pageants but it involves pageants. I remember when it was time for a new church to be built in my hometown because the old one had become too small, the reverend mentioned the need for the community to get involved. I took it as a call to action and what did I choose to do... you guessed it, I organised a beauty pageant. Not the glamorous kind of thing that you would imagine. Come on, I was 10 but it did happen in the Town Hall because my great uncle worked for the local municipality. I roped in all the young ladies in the town... so it was essentially a kiddies pageant. But I did my bit and I remember when the new church was inaugurated, the reverend mentioned that someone even organized a beauty pageant to help build the church. I was well chuffed and I still think of that with a smile, despite the fact that last time I was in that church was for my mother's funeral. 

So when I found out that helping people is also encourage thanks to the great Julia Morley, one of my greatest heroes in life, it further cemented the fact that pageants represented good or the desire to at least do good in this world. And over the years, this has never left me, and I have donated as much as I can but more than that - I gave my time. 

During my high school years, I was actively involved in the church's Youth Group. But more than that - there was a very special lady named Ursula Basson, who gave her life to God (RIP, Auntie Ursula) and she actively involved me in her work. It was not just something of a calling for her, something that gave her great joy, it was also her mission to ensure that less fortunate kids in the "segregated area" (the terrible side of SA) had somebody to care for them, care about them, feed them and love them.  For a bit of context, and I am ashamed to write it - it was a "non-white" area and the abuse of alcohol and other substances were a huge problem and who suffered the most - the kids of course. 

Week after week, I spent Saturday and some Sunday afternoons in her company. It was my way to help but it was also a saving grace for me because it really gave me something to hold onto. I looked forward to these afternoons. We would teach the kids and I took it very seriously - I had always wanted to be a teacher. There was always food for the kids too and I am sure for many of them, it might be the only hot meal they'd receive that day or, in some cases, even that week. I often heard people ridiculing her but that beautiful heart of hers just grew bigger and bigger and she really dedicated her life to helping others. For a while, I was so lucky to be part of her orbit and I cherished it. 

Julia Morley (with the Princess Royal)  after she became Julia Morley 

Commander of the Order of 

the British Empire (CBE) during a ceremony at Windsor Castle

I always went with the church to places beyond the borders of South Africa. My first mission was to eSwatini (formerly known as Swaziland). It was a life-changing experience. I loved meeting the members of the community in a building that they constructed (we helped) it was very unfinished - no window but it was a place that was filled with joy. Most of all, I loved meeting the local kids and for and they took kindly to me and for at least I would receive cards, letters and drawings from Swaziland for Peppi (that's what they called me). The bug really bit me and I am not referring to a virus that made me have to run for the toilet and eventually not making it. Until this day, not many people know about this "shit show". (Hahahaha - now you know!) 

The following year, I chose to go to Malawi, so there was a lot of fundraising to be done to be able to fund this trip. I organized a concert, a potjiekos competition (a local speciality that we cook in black pots on the fire, like a stew) and many mornings of baking pancakes in front of the local supermarket. It was also during this time that I overheard some of the older community members discussing how ridiculous it was that people were supporting this stupidity because I was going to "black countries" and I should rather focus on my own community. That hurt my heart but it never stopped me. I did not see colour, first of all, and secondly, I spent most of my weekends going to serve my own community in areas that they disapproved of, ignored and found unworthy of compassion for. 

Anyway, the trip to Malawi was exciting. We were transported from Johannesburg (like 30 of us in the back of this big cattle truck) to Malawi and the whole trip took 2 and a half days. It was a fascinating and sometimes scary journey that took us through Zimbabwe and Mozambique. It was less than 4 years after the Civil War in Mozambique ended and there were still landmines everywhere. We stopped in this really remote area to stretch our legs. Some children found this arrival very peculiar and they came to "inspect" what was going on. We could not communicate with them but there was no language needed. Warmth is a universal language and very quickly, they were close to me. I had never seen such poverty in my life. Really worn clothing full of holes, flattened plastic bottles tied around their feet as shoes... that image still sticks... but it just made my heart grow bigger because I wanted to be the kind of person who could at least do something. You know what also sticks - the joy! They were playing football (soccer) with balls made out of plastic bags. I got back in the truck and got some of the candy I had with me and gave it to them. Do you know what they did before they ate it? They climbed into the trees and picked some of the marula fruit and gave it to me. It was one of the most definitive moments of my life and it shaped my character and it reinforced what my mother taught me - even when you don't have much, you can still give. 

Malawi was such an experience - the scary hippos at night, going out on the lake, the spiders in the bathrooms, and even the moments that were unscripted, like a cheeky monkey opening my tent to look for my orange and then me coming back to all my clothes lying everywhere but the tent... the culprits - goats! It was however, the time spent with the community members that made the greatest impact. We were honored to be invited by the Chief of the Village for a meal. It was simple - goat with rice and some sort of vegetable but it was beautiful. We sat on the floor in his hut - which was a huge honor. I remember seeing bats in the roof. The most powerful thing actually happened after the meal when we were presented with Coca Cola in glass bottles. Yes, for most people it's nothing. But would it make a difference to you if you knew that there was no running water, no electricity, that people had to walk 5km just to go and get water in the morning and that someone cycle 25km (so 50km for a return trip) to go and buy it. And then I am not even mentioning what dent it must have made in their budget. All this filled me with so much awe, so much humility and lifelong desire to want to help and do more. 

The following year, I went to Madagascar. It was also eye opening. From eagerly getting out of the bus in a dirt road in Antananarivo just to step in a hot, steaming pile of cow poop to battling a nasty stomach virus with the long drops outside filled with rats and other creatures to slipping and ended up in falling into a rice paddy that did not smell fresh. All of these things are funny stories to tell but what was not so funny was the plight of the street children that we visited every day. We were horrified to find out that they (kids as young as 4,5) were often sexually exploited by tourists for a few coins. I wish there was more that we could do. It was a terrible thing and it gave me a darker glimpse on the state of our world. 

When I eventually became a teacher and worked in Taiwan and China, I still tried to do my bit. I told the stories, I imparted the lessons I learned and I tried to expose my students to the beauty of service. I always worked with students who were in the elite schools where they had extremely privileged lives and I never failed to understand that part of my mission was to at least give them a better understanding of the world. Or a slightly different one to what they were used to. In Taiwan, I regularly did a Pay it Forward Campaign where students were encouraged to spend their time helping someone. There were no strict rules because help is help. It doesn't have to be a grand gesture - it's about a seed being planted. We did book drives and collected books for areas that needed them in Taiwan and shipped the books there. 

In Shanghai, I was fortunate enough to work at a school where kindness, compassion and empathy were qualities that were celebrated and nurtured. I remember hearing about the devastating earthquake in Nepal in April 2015 and shared images with the kids. The beauty of the youth is that they are easily inspired to bring about change or at least care enough to want to make a difference. They decided that the school should do something. The result was a "Casual Friday" and the kids made donations in exchange for not having to wear uniforms to school for a day. We were lucky that the school's principal spent time in Nepal and was just as passionate about the initiative. More than US$10,000 (at the time) was raised that day. Phenomenal, they! I became involved in the Green Student Council and the Student Council after that and I could not be any prouder of the kids I worked in collaboration with. They inspired me and taught me. 

All of these beautiful experiences happened before my life in pageants. For that, there's one person who has been a constant source of inspiration. Someone who has been such an important person in my life and will always be a north star to me. And though I have only met her really briefly, I am so lucky that I did have that beautiful encounter because I felt like I had just won the lottery. (I don't know how to describe it with an example that everyone would get.) Who am I talking about? The incomparable Julia Morley. She was, is and will always be someone I admire, respect and love (yes, even though I don't know her!).  And since I heard her talking about Operation Hunger in 1991, it was the fuel for the fire in me I needed. 

Maybe now you will understand my love for service. I think it is either in you or you just don't care but my life is so much better because of my love for doing my bit. I would still have done stuff had I never even heard of pageants because this little spark was already there before pageants. But the connection between my life, pageants and my desire to keep trying to help when and where I can led me to paths that I could never have imagined. This love is priceless to me and I can't imagine having a life where I did not care about helping. And I don't have to be affiliated with anyone to keep having this love. It was there before, it was there during and it is still burning so strong despite and maybe even because of recent events. 

All I can end with is: thank you, Mrs. Morley!